10 Things That Sabotage Healing

What have been your obstacles?

I mean like, here, right now, this week?

Part of why I have creates so much content on Instagram is because there are real obstacles that get in the way of your healing, every single day. Some of them we notice & others we've been taught to overlook or ignore.

Here are 10 things that I see (and some I've been through!) that can get in the way of your own healing...

1. YOU DON'T HAVE A COMMUNITY

Healing doesn't happen in a vacuum & when you have trauma that stems from the relationships in your life (family or otherwise) you have to heal through new, safe & loving relationships.

This means finding the "places of belonging" that help you feel supported & seen. This helps you rebuild trust.

2. YOU EXPECT PERFECTION FROM YOURSELF

If your healing looks like a massive to-do list that is way too time consuming & triggers guilt when you don't do it all... it's not helping you heal. It's an old pattern of perfectionism or criticism at play. You are never going to get everything perfect in healing. Give yourself permission to do your best & be proud of that each day.

3. YOU DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE RIGHT RESOURCES

It's not talked about enough but not all of us have access to the same resources. Whether it's money, support, physical health, community etc, it's important to acknowledge where you may not have a resource you need so you can create a healing plan that doesn't make you feel like sh*t because you are constantly trying to convince yourself you have everything you need, when you don't.

Different resources require different plans. Be honest with yourself & then adapt.

4. YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO MAKE CHANGES

Ask yourself if you actually feel like you have permission to change. Or does someone or something hold that permission for you? Are you afraid of upsetting others or what they may think?

You can hold yourself in a holding pattern for your entire life if you believe someone has that power over you.

5. YOU ARE NEGATING YOUR PHYSICAL BODY IN THE EQUATION

You cannot heal trauma without tending to the care of your physical body. It does no good to work on healing your beliefs & emotional trauma if you are still neglecting your actual body.

Many times you will cycle through emotional & mental healing only to find you are physically exhausted or worn down. This is just a sign that it is your physical body's turn to heal trauma. Listen to it.

6. YOU ARE SABOTAGING YOURSELF & YOUR PROGRESS

This requires you to be really self aware. Do you notice that you ALMOST get to some change that's needed but it suddenly falls apart? Or every time you go to speak up to that person you are afraid to set a boundary with, you get sick?

Sabotage is just self protection. It may have kept you safe in the past but it won't help you get where you want to go. Take stock of your patterns here & begin to notice where you need to behave differently.

7.YOU ARE RUSHING YOUR HEALING & QUITE FRANKLY CAN SUSTAIN YOUR PACE

If you've been on the fast paced healing journey (we all seem to!) then know it's normal but not sustainable. You will have valleys & mountains of healing. Sometimes you will push & it will feel great, then you will burn out from exhaustion. Totally normal. Honor each phase & care for yourself accordingly because ultimately we are working towards a pace that feels balanced & sustainable.

8.YOU NEED TO LEAVE TOXIC SITUATIONS

But maybe you haven't? Maybe you are afraid or feel like you just need to manage it better.

Loving reality check here... you can't be healthy in unhealthy environments. They will force you to constantly monitor yourself & keep you alert to some degree. It's not worth. Make a plan to exit & give yourself that extra dose of self love to do it.

9. YOU ARE STUCK IN PATTERNS OF REGRET

And wish the past were somehow different... or people were different.

The best thing I ever did in my own healing was to tell myself "I know what I wish was true but what is actually really in front of me?" Stop trying to discern situations by doing all the emotional labor. Let it be as simple as "What happened & how should I respond in a healthy way for myself?"

10. YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY DRAINED & WON'T REST

You are not going to get there faster if you don't take a break. Yes, that even means from healing at times.

It is just as important sometimes to realize you've done so much work & you need a vacation from the work itself. You cannot be healing 24/7 indefinitely.

Taking a healing vacation is about living life & enjoying simple things that nourish & restore you. You will not lose ground. It will propel you forward to stop thinking about healing for a bit.