How Your Emotions Cause Weight Gain

Have you ever though about how being the “Perfect” weight can almost be more good than you can handle….

If you’ve already seen the Video on Weight & Emotions you know how closely the Emotions we’ve trapped are causing us to hold weight in order to feel safe but what if you are actually AFRAID to lose weight & don’t realize it?

(Check out the Video on Weight & Emotions HERE)

Think about it…

We all have several major areas in our life that we are constantly idealizing like a movie in our heads… Our Relationships, Our Bodies, Our Money & Our Career (Purpose.) Imagine you could push a button and each of those areas could instantly transform into the vision you see inside your head. Really think about this. What if right now you instantly had that dream relationship, perfectly fit body, more wealth than you honestly need and you were completely living your dream career and being acknowledged for the amazing work you were doing. What happens in your body when you imagine that level of GOODNESS in your life?

At first you may notice relief or joy…it feels good! See how long you can sit with this vision of your life before you start to feel discomfort creeping in. Do you notice any knots in your stomach? Do you notice your brain trying to re-write one piece of your vision into something that’s not quite so perfect? Maybe all of the sudden you are living this daydream and in your head you suddenly imagine getting into a fight with someone you love? Or injuring your body…. what part(s) of this story do you notice you begin to alter so they aren’t quite so good?

You see, we each have a certain level of GOOD we are comfortable allowing into our life. It’s the glass ceiling we have on our happiness. Now, we may have placed that ceiling there ourselves or it may have been placed there because of experiences in our life but there is definitely a cap to the amount of happiness you are comfortable letting into your life.

Maybe for you it feels safe to have 3 out of the 4 major areas running smoothly but whenever that fourth area starts running too perfectly you self sabotage. Maybe you can only handle 1 area running smoothly… or none at all. We all have different reasons for why we allow certain areas to be good and other’s to be hobbling along but most of it can connected back to how we feel about standing out and how worthy we feel about good things happening to us.

And this is exactly what happens with our weight…

Your physical appearance is the barometer for how comfortable you are fully showing up and being seen. It’s the first impression that can set the stage for how people view you. Feeling fit and healthy? You may worry that people will think your life is one smooth ride and that you have it all figured out. Or worried they may be jealous and start judging you… “Look at her, she doesn’t know what it’s like to work 2 jobs & still have to raise children. Her life must be so easy.” Ever notice one of these scripts running through your head?

At this point in your healing journey you recognize that the things we fear people are going to think about us are only our own fears coming back to bite us in the ass. Truth is, you can’t control what they think and you honestly have no idea what they are thinking…. and… it DOESN’T MATTER. Whew! Breathe. You can lay that struggle down my friend.

That’s not even the problem.

The real deal here is that you can become afraid of other’s seeing your life as being “too” easy and good. We all know what its like to ride the struggle bus and go through hard times and we use that fear to keep us struggling in some area because we are afraid that if we don’t hold onto some piece of that struggle that other’s won’t accept us and it will sneak up and get us when we aren’t looking.

We love to be relatable.

Look at how many areas of your life that you are finding joy in (notice I did not say areas that are “perfect.) This is your limit. Maybe you have an amazing relationship and great career but you can’t lose that weight no matter how hard you try. Are you afraid that having “It All” will be hard on your family? Your friends? Maybe your family has always struggled with money and you never have so you’re unaware that you are hanging onto this one weight struggle so they can see you don’t have everything. Having “It All” can separate us from people we love. It doesn’t matter if it’s our choice or theirs but it can totally happen.

When we have everything going our way it can feel isolating because so few people usually do. It’s not been the norm for our society, so it’s hard to imagine what life is really like when you are showing up in all areas of your life and crushing it. It’s time to change that. We need to work on increasing our capacity for good to enter our life. It’s time expand our definition of a “Good Life.” It doesn’t have to be simply that you are financially secure, feeling  healthy and your relationships are supportive…. those are all great but what about that next level?

This is why we can’t push past the old story…

Because your story is limited. Your story is based on security and not expansion. You are staying safe so our friends and family don’t judge you, leave you or pull love from you. You deserve to have all the things I mentioned above but that’s only the start. We’re inclined to think that the foundational aspects of our life are the end goal but they aren’t. This is where we have to start raising that ceiling. Even if you aren’t meeting that basic level of happiness in these areas you can still start to work on raising that ceiling.

Right now you want to lose weight but what is the next level? Do you want to become a Marathon Runner? Compete in Fitness Competitions? Become an Aerial Yogi? Maybe you want to crush it in a bikini in Spain next year on your birthday? You see, these are the real reasons you want these things. These are the emotional experiences you are actually looking to feel. This is the person you are looking to become…

And your subconscious knows it.

That’s the real reason you are self sabotaging. Can you handle that level of Good? Can you stand out in that way? The weight is just the fail safe you are using because you are afraid or feel unworthy of becoming that person. You are worried that others will feel bad about themselves or judge you for being committed to that vision of yourself. Truth is, you working on how you look physically WILL affect people in your life because it will trigger their fears and their own limits and that’s ok. It’s actually good. You didn’t come here to be mediocre and taste the basic boring parts of life. You came to taste all the experiences that call to you. People need to be shaken. You can be that shaker.

Look at your Capacity for Good.

Take some time to honestly look at the areas of your life that are good and the ones that are a struggle. Be honest with yourself about what it feels like in your body to imagine having everything running smoothly and see what feelings start to creep in or what images start to play out in your mind. This will help you identify areas you are afraid to get what you want. Maybe you need to release some emotion around these fears and limits. Maybe you need to just put your gym shoes on and get your butt in gear. You will know what you need to do if you just tune in. And while you’re tuned in, really look at what that next level is. If you reach your weight goals what is it that you are really wanting to do. What stories do you imagine happening if you reach them? Look at the fears around THOSE stories. Those are the stories that hold the true fears. That is where you will find what’s truly holding your glass ceiling in place and that is how you actually break through.