Negative Self Talk

Negative Self  Talk

This is one of those areas that can show up as the drive to be perfect. To do more. To do better because you never feel like you’ve done enough. It hides under the guise of being a “perfectionist”…. I know… what could be wrong with wanting something to be perfect right? We all want to do a good job. To feel proud of what we’ve accomplished and make sure we deliver what we agree to deliver.

But….
This negative self talk is really a culmination of all the things you’ve been told or believe about yourself to be lacking, hiding under the mask of needing to get it “right.” For most of us, it starts early in our life when feel like we have to earn some type of love or appreciation. Maybe you were told you weren’t good enough so you choose to prove people wrong. Maybe you are afraid to get something wrong because there’s fear of some type of consequence you’ve had in the past. Either way, its crippling and hurtful. It’s the mean voice disguised as love that is always trying to tell you how to “be better.” It never lets you be enough as you are. Never lets you sit and soak in the good you’ve created in your life or the joy of who you are.

It keeps your worthiness living somewhere outside of yourself. Something that you are always chasing but never going to catch because the cycle is designed to always keep you moving. You can never be enough with this cycle. 

It looks like overworking, over-exercising, over committing, telling yourself that you should have done something differently and it feels like you are always close but never quite at the finish line. 

It starts with these little beliefs like “I’m not valuable.” Once we start to believe that there might be some merit in that belief, we look for ways to prove our value and when we find a way to prove it we will keep reinforcing that belief and behavior until we catch ourselves. This week’s Emotions of the Collective Video is really a chance to take a step back from any feelings you have around this and look at the truth of who you are. Chance to find your Joy and accept all of who you are. 

If you want to dig further, we can always dive into what beliefs are holding this in place for you and releasing the emotional anchors holding them in place. Just remember, worthiness is not something you earn, its something you are. You don’t need anyone to prove that to you in order for it to be your truth. 

xxx
Aspen